Gratitude !

I was tired of being sick and tired I guess that's how that saying goes? But really for so long I was living in darkness a never ending void of terror and pain and hatred not hatred for the people that locked me in a cage or the parents that fed me lies and beatings but for the person that harmed me the most "myself". I was tired of feeding myself those same lies that every dam person tried to force down my throat to my very soul but here I was gagging up vulgar comments and attitude. As I self sabotaged the few lights that dimmed the darkness in my soul said I was worth so much more. I was tired of amputating the very love I conjured even though I clang onto it until the very last piece was severed from my existence and the very people I loved were contemplating my existence well I sat drenched in tears wondering why and being sick and tired of being sick and tired. As each stitch freshly woven into the flesh of my heart was plucked free by my very own hands another was made by the people who sought the true me and saw past the very darkness inside my soul that usually ate anyone alive including myself. Thus finally the once rooted pain, the once rooted anguish, and self hatred started to lift and those same people who saw hope who saw a person instead of a monster were planted with every O.D ,coma, stab wood ,or beating I started to see true hope and inspiration in this all too commonly told street story of mine. I had breath in my body and with just that  a universe called gratitude imploded within me  and the very  essence of being alive was something to be grateful for all in itself along with freedom not only of my body and my mind but of my very once shattered soul in which the duck tape of forgiveness and acceptance sealed the pieces back together each day I remind myself that I was saved time and time again from myself and the world and that for me is what gratitude is. Having the ability to understand that we were chosen to live amongst untold numbers of others our very life is the light that once gave me hope and helped me find gratitude when I was on death row of my own free will.