I didnt ask

I didnt ask to be this person .
To feel the things I do .
This journey is a lonely one.
You might feel the same way too.
I'm trapped but this time I know exactly what to do.
People say it all the time just be who.
But who.
Who the fuck am is a question I constantly ask myself.
Living in a world where they fill me with self doubts.
More worried about what they might think.
Instead of not giving a fuck because it makes me happy the soft tune of my inner demons play on repeat as the petals of my heart fall softly.
WHO IS ME.
NO NO NO WHO AM I ?
I'm an unspoken poetry piece lost in time. I'm unfinished art peace. I'm half aged bottle of wine. I'm someone whom imprints himself into your mind I'm a love and a hate relationship all at the same time. I'm universe unseen I'm a guy half blind. As the flower blooms and I find myself I fill so lost in time. The ocean sets as the sun slowly rises.
Ive disguised myself and dressed myself up to fit society. But people do it all the time. That's why that question who are you it's one where I find the answers hard to find. I'm many things all at once like I said a universe untouched and unseen im a universe of many things.

Long walks on the beach

I often come here to escape.
Walking forward without the chase the sand between my feet as my dogs run around me.
I come here here mostly to meditate.
You helped get me out of my head today.
I often stand and stare at the waves knowing your something I can't control and that changes the way I look at things. Each push and pull each crash into the earth I can feel your energy ow so pure. Connected to you in a deeper way you often times take away my pain. I've been here countless times over the years my feelings changed over the years you hold my memories and take away my friends your energy is so fucking pure. I remember days way back when. You stood by my side when I didn't know who I was or who I am. I've come to you to cry and laugh I sometimes walk into the crash. I've loved so deep then mourned that love. I was in your waves when I was a thug. I've learned to love myself I've shared birthday and I've shared doubts. When I first felt your cold embrace I floated along your strong embrace no fears in the world I was strong beyond measure I feel like I let fear take me wherever it wanted to. But I've always come back to you thank you beach for doubt what you do. One of the world's gifts to us the Beaty of God

Bodily Urges

Bodily urges
Can't bottle these urges
Used like a peace of meat do I really deserve this
Maybe deep down I feel worth less
Trying to feel this empty abyss
Work everyday on this self love shit
Throw it down the drain for some raw dick
Can't seem to find myself hold up this will take a minute
My bodily urges got my body hurting.
This uncomfortable feelings isn't worth it.
But dam these urges..
They overwhelm my thought process got me doing things I normally would not and it's all just apart of life rite.
Why do my bodily urges got me hurting my body instead of treating it rite I fight these urges yeah I deserve to be worth it we all deserve it. This some upserd shit having to fight against myself we don't deserve this.