Open

Open to new ideas I see something I've never seen before.
Arrive a key to a new plan can you show me so I can start putting in the floor boards.
So tired of the same old bullshit. Its time to claim happiness for myself.
So full of doubts can't seem to figure this shit out.
I'm so tired of the same old bullshit.
Its time to do this ask no questions start new like whos this.
Let the insecurities of your past remain there.
So much to do and say held it in my whole life but today is mine.
I breathe in the fresh air as the night fills my surroundings with darkness.
The warmth of the cars heater reminds me that I am more than okay that as shifty as life is its still good.
I can still be open minded to the happiness that can be found in the hardest of situations.

Breath

Breath.
Breath of another of your mother we all share one common thing the breath in our body.
I cant say I comprehend how my lugs do what they do much less try and comprehend what another's do to.
Truth is I've always wondered see the breath in my body does a lot for one of course the main thing it does is it keeps me alive.
Even well I'm asleep you can still see our chests rise.
It can calm you when your angered deep breaths they say.
That shit actually works.
It can connect us see when I lay next to my partner and lay my head on his chest I can feel his breath and I feel as though we connect. Its funny u naturally try and match his breathing every time until I almost get it perfect then struggle to breathe because I'm thinking too hard. See breath gives us moments to think and feel to connect it gives us a chance to catch up to understand. I cant say I comprehend the breath of myself or another a force so strong it connects us all.
I can say this with each breath is a kiss maybe even a dish a hit or a miss a freshly cleaned dish. We always wonder how long we have I say I'm grateful for each breath. I don't need to appreciate my breath or another's because I praise it I'm fascinated by it I cherish it. I didn't think I'd have breath in my body past the age of 18 now I'm 25 so life along with breath is why I'm still able to write these words and thus that should show how much I appreciate my breath and the breath of another.

what I remeber most.

What I remember most as a kid.
I cant really say I remember any particular subject or genre of life experiences.
I can say at some point the painful memories and experiences were so overwhelming that's all I could think about.
I remember the nights incarcerated.
The times being treated as though I was a caged animal.
I remember crying into my thin yoga matt they called a mattress.
See those stood out to me the most really yeah the shit covered walls or someone standing there watching as a group of us showered naked rushing to get the filth of jail and abuse out of our bodies. Slowly though I learned how to forcefully push those thoughts away and allow myself to embrace the moment see those negative experiences have allowed me to learn how to treat even the littlest of moments like watching the sunset or the smell of fresh flowers like those were the best things that ever happened in my life and thus my thinking changed and what I remember most now is the happy times the smiles and laughter. Instead of the pain being a driving force in my life its now happiness 

The day that changed it all

There are alot of days that changed it all.
In the small dam near twenty five years I've spent on this world. But only two that really stand out to me the most.
First and foremost my mind boggling jarring experience called coming out.
I was so broken then I was a homless skinny tatted formerly incarrcerated Branded thug but not so much thug at all.
See around this time my mom left me months before. Alone and deserted my freinds no longer could open their doors to me. And I had nothing but my weed and my ebt. One man decided to take me in he gave me a home and love so I thought.
As my heart rots I gave it away only well i was getting played my mind torn between the present and the past the old me just couldn't last.
One day I felt forced to tell my truth.
So Instagram was my escape to tell the world.
I'm gayyyyyyyy. I'm still me nothings changed.
But comment after comment left me confused.
Lost a lot of friends but fuck them too I guess.
This moment created the domino effect of self love and acceptance I needed but even when my heart was torn and bleeding it was mending and healing. The moment I accepted myself and my life changed forever for the good and the bad I guess.
This little story led to something different im going to spit a little poem and shift it.
Heart broken torn and put back together.
Took almost six years but it felt like forever.
Accepting me gay fem and all.. I finally came to terms with the fact that my higher power wouldn't let me fall
Confused and used I thought I lost it all. Only 5 foot 4 but dam I stand so tall.
Put my heart back together along with it all no longer homeless or spineless I was ready to try this. Moved a little quick but it was love at first sight shit. I was ready I am ready lets go. Got engaged to a man I never thought I'd know. 

My heart was torn put back together and sewn you were able to see past the broken and the old. 

I knew rite then and there you were the one for me so not only do I now have a home I now have a family

. A little dog and a cat a lizard and some shit with gills that swim around and dance a complete 180 from the boy I was once. Now none bat and eye or even call me thug.

So lost

So lost.

So out of control.

Can't take this anymore.

Tired of being scared to pursue my dreams.

I guess I'm used to only doing lazy things.

Have this beautiful man.

Broken as can be I'm sure we can work through our misery.

Clouded judgment.

No longer a clouded mind.

Its my mofucking time to shine.

I can do this I know I can.

Even if blood drips down my hands.

Last time I gave up I'm tired.

I'm moving through this fear I don't give a fuck.

These Crazy Times

Its been crazy full of ups and downs some smart ass people and some Karen's some clowns.

 These protest are the highlight of it all as my minority men and women stand tall.

I must admit I had a little fall but now I stand motherfucking tall.

For some reason I feel its my season so dam close to changing my reasons.

Used to numb myself now I deal with this shit.

Quarantine got me feeling myself its a new day its bright in my eyes.

I don't need to go outside to dress super fly.

I'm all over the place constantly asking myself where do I want to go now that I'm not so full of doubt.

All this world got is themselves maybe someone else with a little help.

God pushed me I went thought I was spent.

Guess I have a lot of fight still left.

Met my soul mate this time I didn't reject instead I learned to show love and respect.

Happiness and pain is my common now from sweet kisses to I wonder why or even how I'm on my way blessed as can be only God knows the future and I know the past its time to kick some mofucking ass.

Hey Rual

It's crazy how a tragedy like this brings people pushed apart together.

There is a loss for words as we swallow despair.

It's a bit crazy how we still continue to allow a system created by the real minorities to constrict us and kill us with the venom called the justice system.

Us minorities are the majority.

We slowly take back the motherland.

We slowly take back our heritage.

We slowly take back our choice our freedom but why do we continue too have to light candles for such kind souls for Raul.

Why cant we celebrate birthdays and memories? 

Will we continue to wait to allow to think we are no better than the white man who continue to push down on the colored and the poor.

As tears role down my eyes.

As my breath tries to escape and my mind tries to come up with a solution.

The solution is we must stop remembering each other and instead embrace and cherish each other and lift each other up we must be there in life so we can have no regrets in death!

Perhaps Tommorrow

Perhaps tomorrow the shackles both I and society created will be broken.

I will no longer hold onto my past or be held down by my pain. 

Perhaps tomorrow I will find myself instead of creating a false identity.

I will love myself completely.

Perhaps tomorrow I will forgive those that hurt me including myself.

I will let the sounds heal and finally be okay.

Perhaps tomorrow I will start to live with gratitude and move through life with happiness instead of anger.

Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up knowing I'm not a failure because of the mistakes I've made.

Perhaps tomorrow Daniel will emerge victorious instead of the various identities created for survival.

Perhaps tomorrow is my day.

Finally all my paid and past will no longer haunt me.

I can finally be myself and understand I'm worth my dreams that perhaps tomorrow is today?

For me each day is a new day to learn how to love and heal. 

Judgment

Find myself in the face of other's.

Judged deep down under I find myself.

But is it okay too be me with all these doubts.

Judged for every move that I make.

This pain inside I can't seem to take.

Mind full of other's thoughts.

Make a move well other's watch.

Alone but really not alone.

Judge myself it's not okay.

Ow god wont you take my judge away.

clouded mind.

My mind clouded with thoughts of fear.
Take my time I will get there.
Lost between the heart and soul.
My mind seeks to take control.
Angles touch so nice and warm.
Why does my angel have big horns.
Caught between now and then.
Cross the stitch born again.
No longer controlled by fear and pain.
Stress overrides gratitude in what I've gained.
I know sometimes things change.
Happiness is on it's way.
Find exactly what you need too do.
No need dont have a clue.
I guess each experience is met to last melt and form or break the glass.
It's time to change and find myself no need for all those doubts.

what if ?

Sometimes we fall short.
Sometimes we are rite were we are suppose to be.
Suppose we hurt those we love.
Suppose they do the same thing.
In life there's a lot of what if's.
Today I choose to live for me.
There will always be sometimes a what if a what could be.
Make the best of what you have choose to put yourself first.
Without you to love yourself you'll try and love but only cause hurt.
Today you should choose to find your path your never too old its never too late to change your future instead of be stuck in the past.
There is so much love to give and get back.
Open your arms I promise you will get a gift back.
Today treat yourself to something great because that's what you are even when you make mistakes your a gift worth the love you deserve not a slap in the face or fowl words.

2020

A new year a new me they say I say my mind says ?!

But really is it true?

It is I feel my pulse vibrating as I manifest and think about all the good one year has already done for me !

2020 is my year I manifested that at least.

25 years old I said my dreams would come true and here I am in 2020 about to be 25 hos ironic how I feel.

Floating yet my past continues to try and haunt me.

Dreams shall come true manifested it long time ago.

But yet why do I feel like something is missing something important.

I guess the months and days will only tell.

Work my ass off now is all I can do.

Let's go 2020 is our year its the world's years it's time to make dreams into reality.

Sorry for my blob of words I guess I just needed to share it with the world.