What people don't understand is i truly care like I swear people mistake my love for I wana fuck but sorry to take it there.
People don't understand that sometimes I feel like a boy yet I'm a man.
So lost in thought sometimes i shake from the pain people shake my brain or maybe it's the pain. Regardless people get hurt when I run away
People don't understand how hard it is to be a formerly incarcerated gay man. Everyday is a testimony to who I am I have to be seen but also just to be who i am even though I'm still a man they see me as less than
What people don't understand is I go ham but each day is full of pain my health took a turn do to my mistakes
What people don't understand is I never will give up I'll keep trying to change till I die I won't duck ill take the punch. I love unconditionally that's my fatal flaw I'm a little to honest you can say I'm raw like some sushi I'm tasty you know wassup
Sunday, February 20, 2022
Friday, February 11, 2022
Dear me's
Dam it's been a crazy road.
I'm sure you already know though.
Remember when you never thought you would be loved or dig yourself up. Well that all happened. See I fell love got engaged and all. Dam that shit was a hard wake up call. See we fell alright into a pit we both didn't know how to love ourselves that was it. A daily cocktail of talking shit. I fell into a dark pit lost myself then found out that I need to love me to love someone else.
Dear future me
See here's the thing you really enlightened me I didn't know if I'd actually be seen or heard this all seems a little obscured see I didn't think I can make it my whole body shaken. I didn't think I'd ever be able to love man I'm still just figuring out who I am. I really felt like this lifes a scam but man. You truly inspire me to know that I'll be thriving truly enlightens me. So thank you for never giving up on me you truly are a king.
Dear king
See here's the thing I never truly had faith in me at least not fully not just yet but dam I see you. You really turned into your best. I always wondered what's next you really achieved all your dreams please though don't loose site of who you could truly be I know this fame and wealth got you filled with doubts see we all have problems money can't solve I guess I'm just figuring this out without a doubt though you made it. I like the way your house looks it got me shaken. You never did stop smoking but now your pool side owning who you are you no longer hide behind the fears or the scars I can only imagine how hard it was see I'm facing this now without a doubt the work I'm putting in helped me learn to figure shit out. I can see this now. All this hard work gotta me screaming out loud but I can see the end result and it's all worth it to me now. The smiling faces designer laces good food and smiling face a big ass house a statement that we made it.
I'm sure you already know though.
Remember when you never thought you would be loved or dig yourself up. Well that all happened. See I fell love got engaged and all. Dam that shit was a hard wake up call. See we fell alright into a pit we both didn't know how to love ourselves that was it. A daily cocktail of talking shit. I fell into a dark pit lost myself then found out that I need to love me to love someone else.
Dear future me
See here's the thing you really enlightened me I didn't know if I'd actually be seen or heard this all seems a little obscured see I didn't think I can make it my whole body shaken. I didn't think I'd ever be able to love man I'm still just figuring out who I am. I really felt like this lifes a scam but man. You truly inspire me to know that I'll be thriving truly enlightens me. So thank you for never giving up on me you truly are a king.
Dear king
See here's the thing I never truly had faith in me at least not fully not just yet but dam I see you. You really turned into your best. I always wondered what's next you really achieved all your dreams please though don't loose site of who you could truly be I know this fame and wealth got you filled with doubts see we all have problems money can't solve I guess I'm just figuring this out without a doubt though you made it. I like the way your house looks it got me shaken. You never did stop smoking but now your pool side owning who you are you no longer hide behind the fears or the scars I can only imagine how hard it was see I'm facing this now without a doubt the work I'm putting in helped me learn to figure shit out. I can see this now. All this hard work gotta me screaming out loud but I can see the end result and it's all worth it to me now. The smiling faces designer laces good food and smiling face a big ass house a statement that we made it.
Friday, February 4, 2022
Why you bugging me?
So much shits on my mind it feels like I'm in a tornado half the time I get the money I grind
I shine he shines we all shine but when will I get mine
I feel sad today
Today I feel okay
My minds filled with so much shit today
My stomach hurts im in pain
I feel like shit
Like I'm dying today
I try and love but these men seem to strip my love away
No not today
My insides are hurting I don't really wana play games
They say I have some insane ways I'm just overwhelming loving but I thought that would be okay.
I guess I just can't take on other people's pain.
Tugging me let other people start running me just so I could people please but they ain't they're anyways they been distant the minute I didn't shift to fit their description.
Listen gotta really dig in these people fumble constantly when I'm trying to win.
See a lot is bugging me my bodies screaming please treat me like the king you know you are. My mind is pushing forward but still trying to figure out to heal from emotional scars. But heart hurts it wants to love but started to raise its bars. I mean we went through the black plague and still went hard trying to live large. Can you feel it this some real shit what's bugging me is the fact that my community is so broken they rather take dick over love. Maybe a few health relationships to look up too but it's simply not enough. See my future my past and the times that I didn't give a fuck still tug and bug like some ancient flies that don't realize their bugs. How fun see the problem is that I'm bugged from the internal shit and from what comes from above. How fun all low energy and shit see my bodies been talking shit but I answered it the best I know how at least but in order to defeat the inner pain I gotta dig deep. Be boogie a bit talk is cheap I wana reap the benefits the system did on my life but sometimes I feel like I'm cursed to not live life. Just fight but why I gotta fight to live why my people gotta survive and give in win
It's all okay papas did you forget your a thug at some point didn't know how to love thought you belong dead but believed in what's above. How dumb to be bugged by such mediocre problems do you not remember being homeless broken and on drugs how money to show your body love and if you did you'd use it on drugs. You got quality problems now I mean your an adult you might still feel sixteen but that shit isn't your fault it is your job to change the dynamic I know some people should get beat up for calling you fagget but what would that solve what it help you feel tall hell naw that ain't you. Whatever bugging you got you acting like a fool shit ain't cool your better than all that I mean you helped people through instilled life into motherfuckers acting like fools you share your love with the world but you need to just share it with you. See what's bugging you is an easy solve kind of like those pills you take that dissolved pain solved but it takes work and effort like a doctors appointment you need to put in the footwork dig deep cuz what seems weird to you might not be weird to me. I'm rite their with you between the sheets I'm your inner strength I'm your inner being you've done been in hell and said ow well ima find a way out and with one shift your whole world changed now its time to stop letting shit bug you and hide the pain away. Your worth more papi you got this your a real quick and Whatever you want you got it.
I shine he shines we all shine but when will I get mine
I feel sad today
Today I feel okay
My minds filled with so much shit today
My stomach hurts im in pain
I feel like shit
Like I'm dying today
I try and love but these men seem to strip my love away
No not today
My insides are hurting I don't really wana play games
They say I have some insane ways I'm just overwhelming loving but I thought that would be okay.
I guess I just can't take on other people's pain.
Tugging me let other people start running me just so I could people please but they ain't they're anyways they been distant the minute I didn't shift to fit their description.
Listen gotta really dig in these people fumble constantly when I'm trying to win.
See a lot is bugging me my bodies screaming please treat me like the king you know you are. My mind is pushing forward but still trying to figure out to heal from emotional scars. But heart hurts it wants to love but started to raise its bars. I mean we went through the black plague and still went hard trying to live large. Can you feel it this some real shit what's bugging me is the fact that my community is so broken they rather take dick over love. Maybe a few health relationships to look up too but it's simply not enough. See my future my past and the times that I didn't give a fuck still tug and bug like some ancient flies that don't realize their bugs. How fun see the problem is that I'm bugged from the internal shit and from what comes from above. How fun all low energy and shit see my bodies been talking shit but I answered it the best I know how at least but in order to defeat the inner pain I gotta dig deep. Be boogie a bit talk is cheap I wana reap the benefits the system did on my life but sometimes I feel like I'm cursed to not live life. Just fight but why I gotta fight to live why my people gotta survive and give in win
It's all okay papas did you forget your a thug at some point didn't know how to love thought you belong dead but believed in what's above. How dumb to be bugged by such mediocre problems do you not remember being homeless broken and on drugs how money to show your body love and if you did you'd use it on drugs. You got quality problems now I mean your an adult you might still feel sixteen but that shit isn't your fault it is your job to change the dynamic I know some people should get beat up for calling you fagget but what would that solve what it help you feel tall hell naw that ain't you. Whatever bugging you got you acting like a fool shit ain't cool your better than all that I mean you helped people through instilled life into motherfuckers acting like fools you share your love with the world but you need to just share it with you. See what's bugging you is an easy solve kind of like those pills you take that dissolved pain solved but it takes work and effort like a doctors appointment you need to put in the footwork dig deep cuz what seems weird to you might not be weird to me. I'm rite their with you between the sheets I'm your inner strength I'm your inner being you've done been in hell and said ow well ima find a way out and with one shift your whole world changed now its time to stop letting shit bug you and hide the pain away. Your worth more papi you got this your a real quick and Whatever you want you got it.
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