Facing my fears

Dam! Gulping down a mouthful of fear as I close my eyes and introduce my fear to the world " Hi my name is Daniel and I'm an addict " fear faced! By a faceless man who now just faced a fear who finally has a voice. That wasn't so hard was it ? As many times as I am caressed my ego stroked as compliments fly above my head like the clouds I lay under. "But", "But" I have scars "I'm a failure " "My hair is receding", "I'll never be able to do that". All fears rite ? As a loving hand reassures a dead man that they cannot see the scares, that your hair Is just fine , and a failure yeah rite. Fear faced ! Inside the turmoil starts to disappear even for the briefest of moments. Alone all alone ow so alone I hurt as I stare at the empty walls, a long cord , and a lumpy couch, one lamp with no lamp shade all alone me and my feelings and abandonment as I stare in the vast emptiness I cant help but fear, fear the loneliness that dances around in my soul or the feeling of anger lingering in my mind knowing my mom abandoned me for a man but not knowing if shell return. Here they come , here we are as they knock on that hollow door full of bright smiles and hope, now not so alone. Fear faced!  I am reminded I have and will always have people in my life who care for me. Shackled bags hang under my eyes a not knowing feeling eating at my gut as an ice cold breeze keeps me awake my tiny wrist move about my frail 12 year old body as I'm lugged into a barren waist land called jail and stale faces called pain great me  I move sluggishly into my cell and wonder what's to come my eyes droop as my head hits something cold. Fear faced ! As I sit with murderers and convicts much older than me I'm met with help instead of harm first time in jail only 12 years old and I felt more at home than at home. A man staring down as I wince the sting from his huge hands escaped my cheek as a siren stands next to him whispering words of painful encouragement I stand up strong minded but ready to escape my to my escape a game box, Xbox, and a TV close the door and allow my mind too drift. Fear faced !
My father the only man I've feared beat me constantly and the only escape was my room full of gifts from a mother who does her best. Now let's bring it back, to a day a lonely day as I used my body and gave my soul to man who allowed me to escape my emptiness and encouraged me to be me. It was a post , a paragraph  a few I knew its and goodbyes ! Fear faced 19 years of age a young Latino mixed gay thug confused at the fact that I lost it all friends and family both but gained myself within me struck a bolt of life and a knowing that I've face many fears before and I will face many more !