I’m not used to usually being in denial

I’m not used to usually being in denial. 

See some shit in life is wild. 

Still treat me like a child.

I’ve had this tendency to hurt and push away the people that love me. 

I am pretty but I sure know how to tap into the ugly.

Found myself doing it everyone happiness seems to creep into my life.

Like naw fuck that some shit ain’t rite.

Fighting the fact that I’m great.

They see my greatness 

But I seem to ignore it everyday.

Like heyy hey you wake the fuck up. 

You didn’t survive a heal of a life on just look.

You didn’t get respect from you looks some people actually know how to see the heart.

But I tend to reply to I’m scared that this life is hard I left my trauma in charge along time ago. 

Either you see me as the mean guy or the hoe.

But there is so much more the pain was talking depleting barley walking.

Trying to understand but it’s shocking.

I rob him the person staring in the mirror ofcourse I’m a chipmunk claiming a horse naw maybe even a lion.

But my teeth grinding at the thought that I might just end up alone again. Like how can I be the man if I am the man I am because this person be hurting I’m trying to flourish but I’m barley floating on the idea that I actually deserve shit because most people told me 18 was my expiration date. Slowly learning how to embrace fate I’m too impatient to

Wait for things to change. Holding onto to ghost whom I barley know the name. Hummingbird don’t have know aime but let me tell you something I sure ain’t missing I’ll explore my imagination as I keep inching embrace the mistakes but learn from the lessons. Soon you’ll see me rise. I’m telling you I am mental for

The sky’s I’m so tired of hiding and denying the king inside my mind I guess I gotta cut ties from the trauma inside.