As I sit here

As I sit here wondering why the fuck my legs wrapped up being shocked and what not
I can't help but find gratitude in the fact that I get to do something about this shit.
See I've always strived to be rich but forgot how to live
see real wealth is something that comes from within.
I was so focused on the reasons why they said being me was a sin instead of accepting but not letting it damage me within ya dig. See this life I live was constructed by the idea that I was meant to fit in to win but that's so dam far from the truth. See life comes in waves but sometimes people stay stuck in loop. I was once their I was so fucking confused I always wondered why I was set up to loose. Confused. Broken and used but I didn't realize it was me acting the fool just to fit in and be cool. Destroyed my body for another person's hobby. I don't even like those drugs they make me feel naughty. I understand you get me but do you got me. Deeply shaken I'm rocking wonder why I don't got me. But I've been plotting and honestly each day I've learned that it's not them it's me. You see I was the one creating my own hell stuck in misery but the only thing they can tell was I was being a little mean for them so oh well. Goodbye for now let me have my Cow a little stuck in the ego way too proud. Smoke a little loud calm now still trying to figure out how I could tell myself something different. Like dam foo your really gifted. Your worlds shifted go ahead and accept that your winning. I'm starting to get him but I'm just barley hanging by a thread I feel like the more I make bread the more I feel dead still focused on something outside of myself so was said but I no longer dread the fact that I have a head my own personal heaven or my own personal death. No longer dreads stepping into success what was once broken is started to look its best. Well dressed and finessed. I told them regardless of the circumstances I will do my best to be my best. Dam he's well dressed but inside he dreads. The opinion of self beheads naw think less you digging a little to deep it must not be it because it's on repeat to me talk is cheap but I do a whole lot of it plotting and robbing and sometimes adding to my shit. But theirs a flip see the same thinking just changed a bit can help me get rich. Read a book instead of taking dick he feeds me. His energy but it ain't worth shit so fuck that shit. Look in the mirror ask who the fuck this is I don't need to fit in if I was meant to win ya dig. Life's to full of windy roads to not be filled with bliss. Gratitude in self no more it is what it is. Patience and clear conversations of what could be and what is. Slowly finding myself. It is what it is.