Dam my life is full of all that tension and conflict shit. It was still is and maybe always will be I think of it's God's way if testing my integrity. The different struggles we face some can't see. From hunger to homelessness it was always poverty. See my life is like those fucking movies you see. Except the big difference is the person playing the role looks nothing like me. Drama, pain, and misery are something I'm used to see. I sat with all this for so many years that being happy seems to make me a little insecure. I pick at my fingers even in the most comforting places waiting for the drama to start and shit to get elevated but that's not life nor how it should be see as much as the movies depict my struggle and not me they also don't depict that people like me can live happily. Tension and conflict means I stay stuck so I'm picking myself up moving forward and getting unstuck fuck the tension and the conflict I want peace and serenity not the kind from death but from knowing everything will be better than okay.
